Pathetic.

How pathetic is it that I want nothing more than to be held while I cry? Honestly, I think if i was just held with love, I would begin to cry.

How pathetic is it that I have cried myself to sleep more nights in the last two weeks than had nights without soggy pillows & swollen eyes?

How pathetic is it that I bought a pillow that simulates the heart beat, so I can hug it & try to feel like someone who actually cares about me is hugging me? But in reality, I'm laying there alone again.

How pathetic is it that I have spent more time thinking of how to avoid the future than actually planning for it?

Pathetic.