Good Things Come to Those Who Wait.

That's right all, a happy post. Didn't see this one coming on the same day as the previous post, but oh how things pan out. That's right, two posts in one day. I know, I spoil you. (I say you like there is anyone out there. Oh no, talkin' to myself again)

So things really seemed to pan out. There are still a few bumps, but I'm far from the line of unhappiness.

I am with Shelly. She is here until friday for a taste of my college. I'm excited to have a companion during my day, for I spend 99-100% of it in solitary. I can't wait until tomorrow starts. A good day. I can tell already. I guess they're right, there is always a joy once a storm breaks. However, this time I do not need to look at the wreckage laying at my feet. Because this storm seemed to be just a rain cloud passing through.

Although Shelly's here with me, I feel like something's wrong. Something's off. I have an uneasy feeling that it is due to this blog & my post regarding self mutilation. I just look at it as part of my past. I can't shed it, but I don't need to dwell in it either. For that was what I would do before. But I am trying to let things go & grow from them. I can't change the past, I must learn from it. It feels so relieving to tell of my past crimes. Because they no longer linger in my mind where they dwell in the darkness, growing so once they reveal themselves in the light, they're too strong & wild to tame.

But for Shelly, these aren't a part of the old, they're suddenly in the new, & I can see where they spark fear that could easily catch fire to everything we've worked for. But we can't pretend it isn't there anymore. I know things will be okay, but I always have worry. Things are too good, & I fear they won't last. I know I don't deserve an unhappiness I foretell, but it doesn't mean I won't be dealt it. Because trust me, I know, life is never fair. But Ill swim in this joy, and these new and wonderful feelings, for as long as I can.

Farewell all. Know that things can be better. That if you're at a low (which I wasn't even at) then you can only go up, right?