When You Push on Glass, It's Bound to Break.

I've walked so far on a lonely street
With no one there for me.

The mass majority of my life has spent in the dark. Dwelling in the shadows. Alone. Completely alone. & loneliness is a great pain & burden. I finally found someone. I'm no longer alone, but I still fear backtracking to the life I've always known.

So except this confession.
I'm done with this. I'm done being treated like worthless shit. Like nothing. Like an "it" & not a person. Those in my life might not change, but I can change those who are a part of my life. I want to break away from this life. It's scary. A change. A leap of faith. But what is there to catch me at the bottom? Myself like always? Well I have to brush away my fear & just do. Because things can't progress without change, I have to change them. Nothing in my life is going to change without changes in myself.

I'm not your possession.
I'm in no one's control. I belong to no one but myself. Because you do not own me, you have no right to treat me like I'm disposable. Because I'm not. & although I belong to no one, those who believe I'm just a tax deductible object can still lose me. But it is truly their loss, because I can obviously get by on my own. It isn't favorable, but it can be done.

My conscious is vicious.
It truly is. My mind is my worse enemy. The biggest obstacle in my way is myself. I am holding myself back. With any sort of time, I begin the process of torture. This is something I must change. But how?

I am not begging for forgiveness.
Not anymore. & you know what? I don;t fucking want a sorry from anyone anymore. I'm not sorry about anything I've done. I can't change it, so I shouldn't be living in it still. Yes, I've mutilated my body. But I don't anymore. Yes, I'm the one who let myself be a floor. But I'm stronger now. So I say I'm sorry, & I move on. To a better life. A better place.

I've been walking on pins & needles all my life. & I might be scared, but wounds do heal.

Farewell all.